Want to limit screen time for tweens? Parental Habits Can Make a Difference: Shots

It's me. Hi. I am the problem. It's me.

As the parent of a preteen and young teen, I couldn't help but think of these Taylor Swift lyrics while reading the results of a new study that examines the links between parenting strategies and screen use among young adolescents.

The study examined data from more than 10,000 12- and 13-year-olds and their parents who were asked about their screen usage habits, including texting, social media, video chatting, watching videos and browsing the Internet. The researchers also asked whether their screen use was problematic – for example, if children wanted to stop using screens but felt they couldn't or if their screen habits interfered with school work or life. daily.

A key finding that struck me: One of the biggest indicators of how much time kids spend on screens: and if this use is problematic — that's how much parents themselves use their screens when they're with their kids.

““It's very important to set an example for your children when it comes to screen behavior,” says Jason Nagata, a pediatrician at the University of California, San Francisco and lead author of the study, which appears in the journal Pediatric research. “Even While teens say they don't let their parents influence them, data shows that in reality, parents have more influence than they think. »

It's very common for parents like me to feel guilty about our own screen use, says Jenny Radesky, a developmental pediatrician and media researcher at the University of Michigan.

But instead of blaming ourselves, she says, it's important for parents to realize that, just like children, we too are vulnerable to the lures of technology deliberately designed to keep us scrolling.

“We have been asked to parent in an increasingly complex digital ecosystem that actively pushes against our limitations” – for ourselves and our children, she says.

But even as parents battle larger forces designed to keep us glued to screens, that doesn't mean we're completely helpless. Nagata's research focused on which parenting strategies worked best to curb screen use, particularly among young adolescents, because, he notes, this is a time when children are seeking more independence and “because we tend to see children spending a lot more time on media once they have access to media.” their teenage years. »

So what works?

Some of the study's findings seem pretty obvious: Keeping mealtimes and bedtime screen-free are strategies strongly linked to children spending less time in front of screens and exhibiting less problematic screen use. And Nagata's previous research has shown that keeping screens out of the bedroom is a good strategy, as having a device in the bedroom was linked to difficulty falling and staying asleep in preteens.

As for this finding that parents' screen use is also very important, Radesky says it echoes what she often hears from teens in her work as co-medical director of the American Academy of Pediatrics Center of Excellence on Social Media and Youth Mental Health.

“Many teens have told us that when their parents are on their phones, they're really stuck on their own social media accounts — they just seem unavailable,” says Radesky. “They don't seem like they're ready and available for a teenager to come and talk and be a sounding board.

Given the addictive design of technology, Radesky says the message shouldn't be to blame parents. The message should be to talk with your children about why you feel so drawn to screens. Ask: “Why am I spending so much time on this app?” Does this time really feel meaningful and add to my day? Or is it time that I would like to replace with other things? »

She says she favors this collaborative approach to setting limits around screen use for young preteens and teens, rather than using screens as a reward or punishment to control behavior. In fact, the new study shows that, at least in this age group, using screens as a reward or punishment can actually backfire – this is linked to children spending more time on their devices.

Instead, Radesky says it's best to establish consistent family guidelines around screen use, so kids know when they can and can't use them without obsessing about “winning.” screen time.

And when it comes to teens and teens, developing these rules together can be a good way to encourage kids to respect boundaries – and help them and their parents break bad habits in front of the screens.

This story was edited by Jane Greenhalgh.