Stepfather Continues to Put Down Teenage Girl's Late Father, Who Refuses to Be Adopted by Him

When children grow up, the whole world is a great source of confusion for them. And adapting to new things can be quite difficult. Especially when they meet a new parent, their young age can be a problem when facing such a drastic change in their lives.

It was therefore quite natural that Minimum_Succotash526 not to immediately accept his new dad and tThings got out of hand when the stepfather repeatedly insisted that he wanted to adopt the teenager and even brought up her late father. Well, that didn't go down well with the guy.

More information: Reddit

The teenager has two fathers, but one of them died just a month before he was born and he grew up with his precious memories

Photo credits: Karolina Kaboompics (non-contractual photo)

Luckily, he has both fathers' names on his birth certificate and received a lot of love from the family as a son.

Image credits: freepik (this is not the actual photo)

His biological father married Sam when the child was 12 years old and the relationship he had with the stepfather was rather strange because he always insisted on adopting him.

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Image credits: freepik (this is not the actual photo)

He kept talking about his late father thinking he would win the teenager over but the guy didn't want Sam to adopt him because he still loved his late father and knew how much he wanted him.

Photo credits: Minimum_Succotash526

The teenager was annoyed by Sam's constant pressure to adopt and told him he wished his father had found a better match.

Today we're going to dive into the life of the 16-year-old OP and the conflict he found himself stuck in with his stepfather. He gives us some background information about the fact that he calls his biological father “Daddy” and his other father “Papa.” And their surrogate mother was Dad's close friend, Aunt Giga. Sadly, Dad passed away just a month before he was born.

But that didn't stop Dad from sharing his memories with his son, and he was raised with tons of memories of Dad that he truly cherished. And luckily, both of his fathers had their names on his birth certificate after a courtroom dispute. He always received a lot of love from his family, not only as his biological father's child, but also from the other man.

Now, at the age of 4, her father started dating a boy named Sam, but 3 months into the relationship, he realized that he wasn't ready to have one yet. And even Sam was jealous that he wasn't introduced as another father for the child. Although things ended at that point, they reconnected after 4 years and got married when OP was 12.

Well, the bond between the teen and his new partner wasn't what Sam wanted. To put it more harshly, Sam was obsessed with the idea of ​​adopting him. But the teen was against it, because he couldn't imagine being with him if he was an orphan. And Sam didn't like it, as he kept mentioning his father, claiming that he wasn't even his biological father and that it was a miracle that his name was on the OP's birth certificate.

But what really disgusted the teenager was when Sam told him, “At least you'll know me, whereas Dad is someone who's just a saint in your mind because you weren't allowed to accept having only one parent.” Ouch! It was like he was trying to hit the poster where it hurt.

He feels like he was raised by two dads, and even though Dad wasn't physically present, he documented everything for the teenager, from parenting to surrogacy to pregnancy to the moment of his death. And he has the book to prove how excited Dad was, how much he loved him, and how much he wanted him.

On Father's Day, a conflict arose when Sam insisted on adopting the child, saying he felt like an outsider and even bringing up his father to try to convince him. But it was all for nothing because OP stood by her opinion and even said, “You make me wish Dad had found someone better.”

Photo credits: Karolina Kaboompics (non-contractual photo)

First, let's talk about the pain of losing a parent. According to Psychology Today“Approximately 5% of young people lose a parent before reaching adulthood. Early loss of a parent is associated with negative consequences, including anxiety, depression“, prolonged grief reactions, negative effects on self-esteem and changes in how survivors approach adult relationships.”

Even though the author didn't know his late father, he developed a special bond with him through all the precious memories he grew up with. So we can't completely deny the fact that losing his father affected him in some way. And, if it was a long-term impact, then his reluctant attitude towards being adopted by Sam seems somewhat justified.

In an article by Parents.comIt has been stated that “stepchildren face challenges such as accepting a new parenting role and potentially feeling that the new stepparent is trying to replace the other parent. This dynamic establishes a web of boundaries that stepparents would be wise not to cross. Whether the new relationship is the result of divorce or death, you can never replace the child's other parent and should not try to take their place. And you must respect the child's need to love that parent.”

But Sam doesn't respect the OP's boundaries and doesn't let it all go. In fact, he repeatedly tries to take his father's place and even continues to constantly bring him up in a disrespectful manner. Research suggests that you shouldn't criticize a parent and no stepchild would appreciate it and it would just ruin their relationship.

So, indirectly, by constantly bringing up his father, Sam is ruining any shred of a relationship he has with OP. And we understand that he feels like an “outsider” with him and her husband. But it's not his job to strengthen a bond with the child. Even Redditors have brought this up and they've had a lot of bad things to say about Sam.

In the comments, the teen also mentioned that his father wasn't even aware of Sam's insistence. And netizens advised OP to inform his father about it. He mentioned that it would end their marriage and that he didn't want his father to suffer. People said that even though his thoughts were noble, his father wouldn't appreciate him suffering just to protect their marriage.

This seems to be true, as no parent wants their children to go through something just for their own happiness. And while OP is acting more mature than Sam, we also think it would be better if he informed his father about the situation. Don't you agree? If you have any other suggestions or advice for someone going through a similar situation, feel free to write them down in the comments. After all, you never know who your advice might help!

Netizens supported the teenager for his nobility and concern for his father's happiness and also criticized the stepfather for strengthening a bond with him.