'She burst in when our son was sleeping': Mother abruptly furious as teenage son gets bedroom lock

When I was a teenager, there was no question in our family whether I could get a lock for my room or whether the elders had to knock when entering. Everything was much simpler: I didn't have my own room. As they say: “no room, no problem…”

However, user u/Counting_blessings_'s 16-year-old son was a little luckier than my younger self. He has his own room, but on the other hand, his mother sincerely believes that any attempt by her son to lock himself there is nothing more than a manifestation of disrespect towards his parents. And the dad… well, the dad supported his son, but did so in a somewhat ambiguous way.

More information: Reddit

The author of the post has a 16 year old son who recently moved into his own room

Image credits: SHVETS production (not the actual photo)

The problem was that the author's wife turned out to be completely disrespectful to her son's privacy in general.

Image credits: Counting_blessings_

The woman had the habit of barging in several times a day without even knocking, which greatly exasperated the teenager.

Image credits: studio cottonbro (not the actual photo)

ADVERTISEMENT

Image credits: Counting_blessings_

So the boy decided to put a lock in his room – and his father supported this decision.

Image credits: Eren Li (not the actual photo)

Image credits: Counting_blessings_

However, when the woman became dramatic about the lock, the man only mumbled something like “I warned you” and nothing more.

So, a few months ago, according to the original poster (OP), his 16-year-old son “Simon” left the room he shared with his youngest son to move into his own room. And almost immediately, the question of privacy and personal boundaries arose within the family.

The fact is that in the family of the author's wife it was believed that no family member should isolate themselves from each other, that relatives “should not have any secrets.” In turn, the OP himself grew up in a family where, according to him, they tried to respect everyone's personal boundaries as much as possible.

Needless to say, Simon didn't like that his mother could walk into his room at any time without knocking. The teenager tried to defend these boundaries, but the mother claimed that they were “family, not strangers” and that it was actually ridiculous to demand that she knock on the door of her own home.

When the woman burst into the son's room again, around 11 p.m., while he was already asleep, it was the final straw. Simon spoke to his father and, after collecting his pocket money, bought a lock for his door. Now imagine mom's indignation when she saw the door locked from the inside!

And here, moreover, the original poster behaved far from the best. Instead of actively intervening and supporting his son, he chose to say something like “I warned you”, while remaining silent about the fact that he himself had advised Simon to get a padlock.

Perhaps this is how the man tried to avoid a bigger tragedy – but the problem remains. The woman, according to the author, now treats her husband and eldest son in silence – “until they remove the lock,” but Simon has no intention of doing this.

Image credits: Max Vakhtbovycn (not the actual photo)

“Of course, I agree with this teenager that every person has the right to privacy and if mom does not respect this right, then a lock seems to be a reasonable solution,” says Irina Matveeva, psychologist and certified NLP specialist. , with whom Bored panda we contacted about this matter. “At the end of the day, just because you were raised differently doesn’t mean that was the only right way to go.”

“On the other hand, it seems to me that the father did not act entirely decisively in this situation – he should have publicly supported his son. Even if the teenager bought the lock with his own money, if his father shared his point of view, he should have spoken to his wife personally and not hide behind ridiculous words. I hope this man will find the strength to do this in the future,” Irina concludes.

Of course, the vast majority of commenters sided with the teen, arguing that his mother simply didn't respect his personal boundaries. “Do locks mean secrets?” Really? No, a lock in this case means 'I'm keeping this lock because my crazy mother doesn't want to curb her habit of barging into my room,'” one person wrote. “Clearly the mother isn't surrendering take into account why 16 year old boys need privacy,” added another, quite sarcasticly.

And people in the comments also criticized the father for his unwillingness to resolutely defend his son in this conflict – even though he tacitly supports him. “If you really wanted to support your son, you should have admitted that you told Simon to go get a lock. You shouldn’t have tried to make it seem like you had nothing to do with this,” another person wrote in the comments. So you, dear readers, do you agree with this point of view?

People in the comments praised the man for siding with the son, but criticized him for his indecision.