Recap of “Below Deck Mediterranean,” Season 9, Episode 1

welcome to Under the Med Bridge season nine! For those of us who watched the flagship series, we had no weeks off between seasons, much like the breakneck pace of turning around on a boat for back-to-back charters. Before the premiere begins, the preview for the upcoming season teases a rope break, kissing, close kissing, and too many blondes, so I can't tell who anyone is. I can't wait to see all of these moments in context and realize that most of them are pure trailer fodder and aren't big deals at all.

Now let's review this season's crew, led once again by Captain Sandy. Sandy preaches that they have all his trust and respect until they show him otherwise – who will be the first to lose it? My money is on Nathan or Bri.

Aesha, Stew Chef: Aesha was the second stew of seasons four and five, then the chief stew of both seasons of Under the bridge. She and Sandy are so excited to work together again. They remained friends over the years; Aesha and her boyfriend, Scott, even visited Sandy in Denver. Sandy loves that Aesha goes the extra mile to please the guests. The potential for problematic favoritism is high, my friends.

Iain, boatswain: South African Iain has been working on yachts for five years. His father is a professional canoeist (thanks, Iain, for teaching me a new word) and he started working as a river guide for his father's company at 16. Iain's mother is called Sandy, a fact we'll have to reveal once. we get to know him better.

Elena, aka Ellie, Second Stew: Ellie only subbed in for the final charter of season seven, and it inspired her to continue working on yachts. She has cocktail training and prefers service to housekeeping, so Aesha puts her in night shifts.

Jono, chef: Jono describes himself as a “culinary architect,” partly because he was a real architect before becoming a chef. He replaced a friend as a yacht chef once and it turned into a career. Learning that he is self-taught fuels my illusion that I could become a yacht chef.

Joe, Senior Seaman: Joe is originally from Liverpool and lives in Spain. The team met just a few hours ago and he's already sharing that he loves fingering his asshole before going to bed.

Nathan, sailor: Nathan comes from a small Irish village of only 600 inhabitants. He tells us he likes to cause trouble and do stupid things he's not supposed to do. I'm sure he told the casting agents the exact same thing.

Gaël, deckhand: Australian, Gael started out as a stew but loves being outdoors and was drawn to the patio department. His fellow sailors are disappointed to learn that Gael has had a boyfriend who has been a junior engineer for five months. She says she's a dating girl because she doesn't like having to start over with someone new, which doesn't convince me that she likes her boyfriend very much.

Bri, third stew: Bri has been yachting for two years on boats smaller than the Mosquito. She admits that she has room to grow but also tells us that she wants to remain a child forever. “The idea of ​​taxes scares me. » Is this woman admitting on national television that she doesn't pay her taxes?

THE Mosquito quickly lives up to its musty name, as one of the crew cabin ceilings leaks. Sandy hopes to have a fourth stew, but they don't have room for one while in a cabin. For cabin missions, Aesha conveniently has Gael's bunk with her so she doesn't share the room with her direct reports.

The team set to work preparing the boat, but supplies did not arrive until after 8 p.m. Greek ferries are notoriously late, so this doesn't seem too surprising. Worse, the delivery is only a quarter of the things Aesha needs and has no basic alcohol. They only have one bottle of Champagne. The rest should arrive the next morning at 11:45 a.m., although the charter starts at noon. Sandy remains optimistic about the delay: “Pressure makes us better. » She also establishes the rules during an all-team meeting: no drinking on the charter and respecting each other professionally, sexually and culturally. Speaking of sex, Nathan is already flirting with Gael while they unload the groceries, while Bri has her eye on Joe and adores his bushy eyebrows.

The next morning, Elena inexplicably wears her Playboy bunny ears. I don't know if it's to remind us of her previous appearance when she wore them, to get guys' attention, or if she just really loves the costumes. She says she travels with a bunch of costumes, 10 percent of which are PG-13. It's unclear if this means the other 90 percent are tamer or R-rated, but I'm sure we'll find out as the season goes on.

The first guests are Gen-Z influencer Jacob Ward and his friends from London. Her content appears to be focused on fitness and cycling. Aesha wonders why she lives in a van with her boyfriend when these kids can afford a superyacht charter. Aesha is self-deprecating: she and Sandy both have more followers on Instagram than Jacob (837,000 and 763,000 compared to 306,000). He has just under 400,000 on TikTok, which may be where the best monetization is, and Aesha is willing to help him take photos and videos.

As Aesha shows the guests around, she lets them know that they are out of Champagne or rosé, but that it will arrive as soon as possible, and that they can make cocktails while they wait. The guests ask if someone can go buy rosé at the store before leaving, but it doesn't happen. They order spicy margaritas, which will have to be without cilantro because that hasn't arrived yet either. I'm pretty sure cilantro isn't a necessary ingredient and Aesha didn't need to tell already disappointed guests that they were out of another item.

The emergency Champagne delivery finally arrives, but there's still no rosé or red wine, and the rest of the food doesn't arrive until 7 p.m. Aesha has never had a problem like this before, and Sandy doesn't understand either, but she's ready. intervene to help the crew if necessary. They left Athens towards Aegina. The exit from the dock and the first anchorage went smoothly. Iain is happy that everyone on his team is competent.

The same cannot be said for the interior team. Bri is responsible for ironing out the guests' clothes, and it's a struggle. As she figures out how to use the steamer, there are a lot of beeps that make me think an alarm is going off in my house, but luckily it's just incompetence at 6,000 miles. It can't hurt me. Bri says she grew up with a maid and maids, so this is newer to her. She spends the entire afternoon — SIX AND A HALF HOURS — smoking, but when the guests go to change for dinner, they don't get their clothes back. One of the guests even goes down to the laundry room to collect his clothes. Aesha takes over from Bri, who “explains” that she likes to take her time to make sure she does things right. This excuse does not hold up. Then Bri drops a bombshell in an interview: in two years of experience in yachting, she has never managed a full season! At some point you have to stop and ask if a job is right for you, but Bri didn't. Later, when she goes to deliver the clothes, she confuses which clothes belong to which guests. A Under the bridge The yacht might be the only one to hire him.

Editors set deadlines so specific that it's like they're preparing material to present in court. Twenty-nine minutes after the supplies were supposed to arrive, the provisioner tells Aesha that they were delivered to the wrong water taxi and won't be there until 9 p.m., when dinner is scheduled. The guests asked for surf and turf, so Jono switches from lobster to crab. He is incredibly unfazed.

For dinner, Ellie quickly changes into a disco ball top and metallic leggings to dress according to the theme. Aesha and Bri didn't even turn black, a sign that it had been a difficult day. There is no wine left, but more finally arrives during dinner. Somehow there is still no red. Despite the lack of wine pairings, diners are happy with the food. During dinner, Ellie does double duty between courses to help Bri refuse the booths. Bri asks if a bathroom she cleaned looks good, and Ellie kindly points out that the floors are still damp. She says not to sweat the first day – she'll give Bri some training. Likewise, Aesha doesn't want to stress Bri more and is just focusing on the first charter. Aesha goes out at 11:40 p.m. so she can get up early to help Bri. She's learned that she has to trust her stews because she can't do everything, and she trusts Ellie.

Unfortunately for Ellie, the guests aren't going to bed any time soon. They party with a confetti cannon that may look great for the contents but looks horrible to clean. At 12:20 a.m., they ask for a mojito and late-night snacks: grilled cheese, mac and cheese, nachos, guac, etc. Ellie has never had to prepare food for drunk people before and feels overwhelmed, so she wakes Jono. Jono, half asleep: “Mm-mm. I don't think so.” Ellie says she'll make grilled cheese and tells the guests that's all they can do. Meanwhile, Gael turns on the spa, which looks like it should have been ready by now. the mojito is 45 minutes late and they ask for more cocktails. Gael calls Ellie on the radio, who comes to explain to the guests that she is the only one eating and drinking. According to the timestamps we are given, this conversation takes place. 15 minutes?! The grilled cheese could be made by then, and we haven't done it yet. I even saw cheese hitting bread. Ellie makes the mojitos while Gael helps with the grilled cheese an hour after they ordered. Ellie then tries to wake Jono up again, at 1:30 in the morning. She thinks her selfish behavior makes her look bad, like she can't handle the guests. From what we see, she can't handle them! She tells Jono that this is going to be a big problem. He still refuses, saying he didn't get enough sleep. Ellie just wastes more time failing to convince him. She's right that it's a problem, but based on the previews for next week, she's wrong about which one of them will be in trouble.