Parental mistakes lead to tumultuous adolescence

The impact of parental errors becomes particularly pronounced during adolescence, leading to significant challenges.

Psychiatrist professor Nevzat Tarhan highlighted this problem, pointing out that broken or conflict-torn families often raise children who struggle more during their adolescence. Regarding the recent events involving Deniz Akkaya and her daughter, Professor Tarhan said: “Teenagers who engage in abusive behavior can put parents in difficult situations.

Recent incidents between former model Deniz Akkaya and her 16-year-old daughter have sparked a lot of discussion on social media.

These events, which revolved around violence between mother and daughter, prompted Akkaya to file a complaint with the police. The Ministry of Family and Social Services intervened, placing Akkaya's daughter under protection, sparking divided opinions among social media users.

While some support Akkaya's actions, others blame the old model.

This specific incident has drawn attention to the current dynamics of adolescent behavior and raised questions about the positive or negative impact of parenting practices.

Professor Nevzat Tarhan pointed out that due to parental mistakes, children today take on the role of “bosses” within families.

“One of the most important problems in contemporary families is the harassment of adolescents against their parents. Violent adolescents create difficult situations for parents,” he said.

The psychiatrist also highlighted other key points that can contribute to healthy parenting.

The question of broken families

According to health professionals, children and adolescents abuse their parents, which is more common in families with broken homes, single parents or conflicting communications.

Often the father figure is absent, leaving the mother to assume both parental roles or conflicting parental ideologies hinder the establishment of clear rules for the child. In both cases, two to three people raise the children, providing them with lenient discipline and affection.

This relaxed approach to discipline often leads children to take on leadership roles within their household during adolescence, becoming the de facto heads of their family.

The pitfalls of overparenting

During adolescence, emotions often take precedence over reason. Accustomed to having all their desires fulfilled, adolescents tend to push the limits, considering their parents as an inexhaustible source of provisions to be obtained at will.

This behavior, known as over-parenting, turns simple requests for toys into demanding desires for larger possessions, like real cars. When their wishes are not met, adolescents may even question their existence by asking questions such as “Why did you give birth to me?” » or “Why didn’t you abort me?”

Transition from a patriarchal family to a child-centered family

Children in households without clear rules have difficulty understanding their boundaries and easily assuming leadership roles. Parents have difficulty asserting their authority and saying no. We have seen a shift from patriarchal family structures to child-centered family structures.

It is imperative to maintain firmness, consistency and discipline when caring for children. Discipline and direction are like snow; when applied consistently, they stick. Some parents shower their children with affection in the morning, only to criticize and question their existence in the afternoon.

Misconceptions about happiness

Parenting involves preparing children for life rather than ensuring their perpetual happiness. Our concept of happiness is flawed and often focuses on instant gratification.

We neglect to consider what will bring long-term happiness, instead prioritizing immediate contentment. Although parents often strive to make their children happy in the moment, it is essential to raise them with a focus on medium- and long-term fulfillment, emphasizing that happiness takes effort.

Impact of broken families on children's social media use

Children from broken homes feel the impact of social media greatly. Social media has less influence in structured family environments where parents assert control and leadership. However, children often turn to social media for stress relief and relaxation, without a nurturing and secure home.

While children typically look up to their family until around age ten, their friends then become increasingly influential. Without the feeling of belonging to a trusted family unit, children become more vulnerable to the negative influence of social media, making their situation worse.

Avoid responding to each child's requests

Fulfilling every demand and managing every aspect of a child's life promotes a self-centered and selfish upbringing. As children develop a strong sense of autonomy, they begin to question parental authority during adolescence. This conflict puts a strain on the parent-child relationship, affecting various aspects of their lives.

Positive communication is therefore crucial in such situations. Parents should guide their children like mentors rather than dictators, steering them in the right direction.

Going through a difficult adolescence

Adolescence is often compared to a turbulent period in literature. If a teenager exhibits behaviors typical of someone much older, this may indicate underlying mental health issues. It is natural for teenagers to make mistakes and parents should correct them with compassion.

Even the most difficult adolescents can be guided toward positive outcomes, although parents often look for instant solutions. Although it is difficult, it is not impossible.

Difficult adolescents have the potential to become successful individuals in the future. It is essential to view tumultuous adolescence not as a threat but as a cry for help.

With proper support during this critical time, adolescents can develop stronger bonds with their parents as they grow.

Source: Writing