My teenage son was murdered: I found comfort in an unexpected place

Twenty years ago, my son Terrell, who was only 18 at the time, was shot to death while attending a party during his college break. His death left me in shock and forced me to ask deep questions while experiencing deep grief. How can I protect other sons and daughters from this fate that too often plays out in our communities? As a father who lost his son to violence, statistics are more than numbers.

In the United States, the leading cause of death for young black men aged 20 to 44 is homicide. Black boys under the age of 19 are at higher risk of homicide-related death than other racial groups.

Terrell was shot by a young black man who, as I have understood and accepted, is also a victim. He is the victim of a system that has historically marginalized, oppressed and imprisoned black men for generations.

My thoughts on this issue were not intended to excuse what Terrell's murderer did. I have never let anger define my life. Instead, I chose to honor Terrell's memory by ensuring that other young people do not suffer the same tragic fate as him.

Although I have witnessed violence my entire life, nothing prepares you for the death of a child. Grief is a lifelong experience and a constant shape-shifter. During my period of deep mourning after my son's murder, I found comfort in what some might find an unexpected place: a community of people who had once caused harm to the community but had since followed a training to become community violence responders (CVI). .

My commitment to building and supporting violence intervention work has only been deepened by my grief. I know that Terrell's killer was also a victim, a victim of a country that dehumanized black boys and men, that stripped black and brown neighborhoods of their resources and their hope. I work on behalf of victims like Terrell and people who cause harm, like his killer. The two are linked.

Recently, I co-founded the Community Based Public Safety Association, a national organization dedicated to organizing, supporting and advocating for CVI professionals.

We support local and on-the-ground organizations that keep their communities safe. The CVI workers who make this work possible are highly trained professionals. They draw on their personal experiences to mitigate the escalation of violence within their communities. Every day, these people actively engage with those most at risk of committing acts of violence or being victims of it.

My journey has been extremely difficult and stressful, and I still work on it every day. The loss of my son and other experiences of violence that I have witnessed compel me to approach violence from a public health perspective, which means that those closest to the violence must have the skills, tools and resources needed to intervene, prevent and treat effectively.

We must emphasize the importance of involving more Black and Brown fathers in decision-making to uphold our community's long tradition of protection.

Data shows that investing in CVI professionals saves lives and significantly reduces the economic burden of violence. As the Center for American Progress reports, some cities, like Sacramento, that have implemented CVI programs have achieved remarkable cost savings.

Terrell would have celebrated his 38th birthday this year. In his memory, I am dedicated to advocating for increased support for Black and Brown communities. Federal, state, and local governments must recognize the urgency of this issue and demonstrate their commitment to public safety by providing accessible support and funding to CVI leaders. These leaders are at the forefront of efforts to combat the endemic disease that disproportionately affects our population.

Aqeela Sherrills is a nationally recognized expert in victim services and community public safety. Aqeela has created and led multi-million dollar nonprofit organizations focused on reducing violence and promoting safety in urban communities and has advised the International Association of Chiefs of Police.

Aqeela is co-founder and leader of the Public Safety Community Collective. This work builds on his work with the Newark Community Street Team violence reduction initiative, which he co-created and led at the request of Newark Mayor Ras Baraka in 2014. During In the five years Aqeela led NCST, Newark's homicide rate fell from 104 in 2015 to 51 in 2019.

All views expressed are those of the author.

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