“My teenage daughter is stealing from me. Here’s what I did.”

As told to Ann DeGrey.

I am a single mother of two beautiful girls, ages 13 and 16. My 16-year-old daughter, Emily*, is an introvert who loves to read and paint. She is quiet and thoughtful. My 13-year-old daughter, Lily*, is the complete opposite: a big personality, always energetic and full of life. I have always been proud of my daughters and the young women they are becoming.

Life has been pretty good lately, both girls are thriving at school and getting along very well with their friends and each other. But something strange happened. A few months ago I started noticing some of my stuff was disappearing. At first it was small items like a bracelet or a scarf, but then it expanded to more expensive things: designer clothes, handbags and even jewelry. I didn't understand what was happening, but I suspected that maybe it was Emily borrowing my things. She is at that age where she is starting to be interested in fashion and might want to try my clothes and accessories. But I knew I had to talk to her about it and make sure she gave me my things back. I was afraid she would lend my things to her friends because when I searched her room I found nothing.

I confronted her, but she insisted she hadn't touched any of my stuff. She seemed horrified that I would think she shared my taste in clothes and, being a curvy girl, she said my clothes would be too tight on her anyway.

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We had a good laugh about it, I apologized, and we moved on. But I couldn't help but think that maybe she just didn't want to admit it. I even mentioned it to a friend at the girls' school, who has a daughter Lily's age, just in passing, to see if she had any advice.

To my surprise, my friend told me something shocking. His daughter had come home with a designer handbag and claimed to have bought it for Lily for $50. My heart sank and a sick feeling washed over me. Could this be my Lily taking my stuff?

I confronted Lily that evening, dreading the answer but needing to know what was going on. She started crying and admitted to doing “bad things.” Yes, she took my things. And yes, she sold them to her friends at school. I was stunned. My 13 year old son was running a mini business right under my nose and selling my stuff!

I was furious. How could she have done that? Not only was she stealing from me, but she was also cheating on her friends. I demanded to know how much money she had made from this “odd job” and where it was. She led me to her room and showed me the loot: over $1,000 in cash hidden under her bed. I could not believe it.

I told her she had to return all the money and get my stuff back. And if she couldn't get my stuff back, she had to find a way to pay me back. There was no way I was going to let her get away with that. I made it clear how serious his actions were, not only because of the betrayal of trust, but also because of their moral and legal implications.

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Over the next few days, I contacted the parents of the girls who had purchased the items. Some were understanding; others were upset and a few women laughed. I apologized and made sure they got their money back if they returned my stuff. It was a humiliating experience, but Lily had to live with the consequences.

As a single mother, this experience was difficult. It would have been much easier if their father had lived with us and supported me in explaining why Lily had not done what she wanted. I have always tried to instill good values ​​in my daughters, teaching them the importance of honesty and integrity. I never imagined that Lily, my spirited and lively daughter, would do such a thing. It was a wake-up call for me too. I realized that I needed to be more careful about what was happening under my roof.

Lily and I had long discussions after this incident. She's a smart, sweet girl, and I know she now understands why what she did was so wrong. We'll work together to try to find an honest “side hustle” for her: selling clothes she finds at thrift stores. She also took occasional babysitting work, looking after neighbors' children, to legitimately earn money. This incident, as painful as it was, seems to have sparked a sense of maturity in her, so at least one good thing came out of it – and I'm sure we'll both be laughing about it in the near future!

*Names have been changed for privacy reasons.

The author of this story is known to Mamamia but has chosen to remain anonymous for privacy reasons.

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