Keeping children safe online – The Malta Independent

In December 2023, Murray, a 16-year-old Scottish man, left his parents watching TV downstairs, a happy boy, only to commit suicide hours later in his bedroom. Described by his parents as a normal, happy teenager with many friends, on the evening of December 30, Murray was contacted by someone online posing as a teenage girl, asking him to send an intimate photo of himself , then threatening to have it sent. to all his contacts unless he transfers money to the blackmailer. Unfortunately, Murray chose to end his life. Sadly, these are just a growing number of cases where young people are committing suicide after being humiliated, harassed or abused online.

The Internet can be a great tool for young people to connect online, learn and play, but it can also expose children to serious risks. According to a recent study by OFCOM, a UK communications regulator, children aged eight to 17 spend an average of 2.5 hours online and almost all UK children aged 12 and over own a phone. Abuse can occur on social media, messaging apps, gaming sites, live streaming sites, and emails. Some of the risks children face include:

Internet harassment – This includes sending abusive, threatening or hurtful messages, images or videos online, spreading lies, creating fake accounts and bullying people through these accounts and posting photos or videos online to shame or embarrass someone. The UK Office of National Statistics (2020) found that one in five children aged 10 to 15 had been bullied online in the last 12 months.

Grooming – When someone creates a trusting and supportive relationship with a young person online and then abuses, manipulates or exploits them. This may involve an adult pretending to be younger and creating a “friendship.”

Sexual abuse – This may include asking a child to view pornographic images, asking a child to send nude photos or videos of themselves, asking a child to engage in sexual acts, or talking sexual acts with a child.

Sexting – When people send messages or images of a sexual nature, including nude photos, to others. This can be consensual or young people can be forced or tricked into doing it. These images may be shared within peer groups or used to blackmail or further exploit the child.

As ever-increasing numbers of young people spend time online, it is important that we ensure safeguards are in place to protect them. Here are some things we can do:

Limit time online

The WHO (World Health Organization) and the CDC (Centers for Disease Control and Prevention) recommend spending no more than two hours per day in front of a screen for children under 18 years of age, one hour maximum for children under six and very limited screen time for children under two. years.

Keep children in sight

This can be very difficult with teenagers, who may spend a lot of time in their rooms. However, with young children, it is recommended that online activity only take place in shared spaces, such as the living room and kitchen. Children are less likely to engage in harmful activities if they know someone may come into the room and you will also be in a better position to keep them safe if you can see what they are doing online.

Parental control

These are settings available that allow you to manage time spent online, content viewed, types of games played, online spending and who can communicate with your child, as well as allowing parents to monitor the activity. These act as a safety net but are not sufficient on their own and must be put in place alongside other actions.

Talk to your children about online safety

Conversations about online activities need to become as common as conversations about your child's day at school, how they did in swimming or dance class, etc. Tell him about websites or games he likes and show interest in them so he can continue to do so. to keep you informed. Encourage them to talk to you or another trusted adult if they see something online that scares or confuses them. Warn them about talking to people online they don't know or sharing their name or address with someone. What you choose to talk to them about will change depending on their age. However, keep the conversation reassuring and casual so they can see you as a point of reference rather than someone they're afraid to approach if they're caught up in something dangerous.

Build a relationship of trust

The most important tool for keeping children safe online is your relationship with them. If a child tells you they are being abused:

• Listen to them without interrupting them;
• Let them know they did the right thing by telling you;
• Reassure them that you are there for them;
• Do not blame them or express anger toward them;
• Do not confront the alleged attacker;
• Report the abuse immediately to the appropriate authority; And
• Take all necessary measures to protect your child.

Be alert to signs of abuse

A young victim of online abuse may:

• Spend much more or much less time online than usual;
• Be discreet about what they do online and who they talk to;
• Appearing upset, angry or distant after spending time online;
• May appear less confident and/or avoid socializing; And
• Ask for or steal money.

Model healthy online habits

Just as you watch over your children, they watch over you. Warning them to be careful about what they post, what they share, and how much time they spend online will be ineffective if you don't practice safe and healthy behaviors yourself. Therefore, be careful not to overshare on social media, including the type of photos you post. Avoid criticizing or judging people online or engaging in online conflicts. Model appropriate phone use by limiting your own.

As a parent or guardian, your actions can go a long way to keeping your child safe online, as well as promoting a broader culture of safe and healthy online behavior.

Psychotherapist Danjela Falzon works with clients on issues related to anxiety, depression, burnout, stress, relationships, sexuality, personality disorders, self-esteem and personal growth . She is part of the Paths Clinic team. For more information, visit www.paths.care