“I will never eat again”

• A boy meets the world Star Danielle Fishel shared a journal entry she wrote as a teenager when a friend commented on her weight gain
• The actress, who read the entry on Pod meets the worldwhich she co-hosts with her sitcom costars, said it was “very sad” and shows that in the '90s, “body positivity didn't exist.”
• Fishel wrote that “I will never eat again,” but later returned to edit the journal entry and add that she had not stopped eating and was simply “evacuating.”

Danielle Fishel has shared a diary entry from her teenage years – and admitted that although “I'm going to read it in a very funny way”, the entry, about how she felt about her body, was “very sad”.

In a new episode of Pod meets the world, the podcast she co-hosts with her A boy meets the world teammates Will Friedle and Rider Strong, Fishel shared a journal entry she wrote after a friend commented that she had gained weight.

“This will really give you a glimpse into the mind of teenage Danielle in the '90s, but I know I'm not alone,” said Fishel, who starred on the hit ABC series from 1993 to 2000.

“The '90s in general was a time where, you know, body positivity didn't really exist. Everyone was chasing a stray glance. And if you were curvy or overweight, that was really something you were supposed to feel bad about.

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Unlike her friends, who “could all eat whatever they wanted,” Fishel, now 43, said, “I was always the type [where] I gain weight relatively quickly and but I gain it evenly. I have a soft roundness everywhere.

For this reason, she says that in high school, she “watched her weight” while her friends, who were cheerleaders and “definitely more active than me,” ate lunches that included “a big, thick slice of pizza and a bag of chips. »

“If I ate a piece of pizza every day for lunch and a bag of chips, I would definitely have weight on me,” she said.

It was one of her cheerleading friends, Jen, who made the comment that prompted the journal entry.

“I’m going to read it in a fun way. You just have to hear the sadness in it,” she said.

“Today I discovered something I was dreading to hear,” she read with a dramatic inflection. “I have never been so hurt in my life. » »

“I found out that Jen, my best friend next to Jess, told me that the other day when she saw me it looked like I had gained weight. I wanted to cry…I really hated Jen at that moment. ”

But Fishel said that instead of confronting her friend, her reaction was to write, “Maybe I'll never eat again.” » »

Friedle and Strong reacted strongly, saying, “Oh no,” prompting Fishel to respond, “If you don't think I could take it up a notch, you're wrong.” »

“'Then I will die,'” she wrote. “ “And that will show him. » ”

“It’s like imagining your own funeral,” Friedle said.

“And it will be such a skinny little coffin,” Fishel retorted.

She shared that she then went back to her journal and added a footnote saying, “I was angry there. By the way, I'm eating.

“Apparently I read it a little later and thought, 'Wow.' »

“I was venting, which is a good time in a journal to vent,” Fishel said, adding, “By the way, Jen is still my best friend. She's still skinny. But now she's working on it.

Fishel also shared that she looks back on her years A boy meets the world — especially how she was perceived in earlier seasons — and was surprised that fans liked her when she had “more weight.”

“I saw the comments people made about me when I was on A boy meets the world when I had more weight on me than I did in the first two seasons,” she said. “And I found that there were a lot of people saying, 'I think Topanga had the 'Looks better with more weight on it.' ”

“And I was like, 'No! This is the first time I've heard of this.' ”

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