I was a real pest for a local DJ when I was a teenager. But he really helped me in a difficult time. Can I thank him now?

DEAR ABBY: As a lonely, mixed-up teenager in the 1980s, I developed a huge crush on a disc jockey from a local radio station. I called him at least once a night when he was on the air, and he was kind enough to take my calls and talk to me about whatever I wanted to talk about for as long as he could.

My parents hired him to DJ my Sweet Sixteen party, and even though less than a dozen kids showed up, he was professional and courteous throughout the entire ordeal. The highlight of the party was when he danced with me after he started playing “16 Candles”.

I followed him to radio station events and was basically a general pest. He was just kind, understanding and patient.

Now in my mid-50s, I realize that I had undiagnosed mental and social issues throughout my childhood that were not discussed and treated at the time, and I regret a much of my behavior at the time.

The DJ is still involved in radio. He has since married and had children and, although I admit I was a little jealous when I heard about it, I became happy for him and his family. He still holds a special place in my heart for being so kind and patient with me at such a strange time in my life.

I never had a boyfriend in high school or college. I married the first man who was seriously interested in me, but he left after seven years and two children.

I decided I wanted to send a letter to the DJ, thanking him for being there for me when I needed someone to talk to, for putting up with me for so long, and for understanding me even when I didn't. didn't understand myself.

I am NOT looking to interfere in his happy life, but I don't want to wait until his funeral to let him know how grateful I am and how much he means to me. Should I write and send the letter? – DJ SAVED MY LIFE

DEAR SAVED: That disc jockeying made such a profound difference in your life when you desperately needed support is wonderful. I think it would please him to receive an expression of gratitude from you all these years later. Of course, send the letter.

Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or PO Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.