25-year study reveals how empathy is passed from parents to teenagers and their future children

by Jessica A. Stern, University of Virginia and Joseph P. Allen, University of Virginia

Our new research shows that parents who express empathy toward their teens can give their teens a head start in developing this skill. Additionally, adolescents who demonstrate empathy and support toward their friends are more likely to become supportive parents, which may foster empathy in their own offspring.

How we did our job

The University of Virginia's KLIFF/VIDA study followed 184 adolescents for more than 25 years: from age 13 to their thirties.

Since 1998, teenagers have come to college every year accompanied by their parents and closest friends, and a team of researchers has been recording videos of their conversations. The researchers observed the empathy the mother showed toward her 13-year-old child when her teenager needed help solving a problem. We measured empathy by assessing how present and engaged mothers were in the conversation, how accurately they understood their adolescent's problem, and how much help and emotional support they offered.

Then, each year until age 19, we observed whether adolescents demonstrated the same types of empathetic behaviors toward their close friends.

A decade later, when some of these same teenagers were starting to have children of their own, we asked them about their own parenting. We also asked them about their young children's empathy. For example, parents rated how often their child “tries to understand how others feel” and “tries to comfort others.”

We found that the more empathetic a mother was toward her adolescent at age 13, the more empathetic the adolescent was toward close friends throughout adolescence. Among teens who went on to have children of their own, those who showed more empathy toward their close friends as teenagers became more supportive parents as adults. In turn, these parents' supportive responses to their children's distress were associated with reports of their young children's empathy.

Why is this important

The ability to empathize with others in adolescence is an essential skill for maintaining good relationships, resolving conflict, preventing violent crime, and having good communication skills and more satisfying relationships as adults. .

Adults want teenagers to develop good social skills and moral character, but simply telling them to be nice doesn't always work. Our findings suggest that if parents hope to raise empathic adolescents, it may be helpful to give them the direct experience of being understood and supported.

But teens also need opportunities to practice and hone these skills with their peers. Adolescent friendships can be a critical “training ground” for adolescents to learn social skills such as empathy, how to respond effectively to the suffering of others, and supportive caregiving skills that they can put to good use as parents. The most recent paper from our lab presents some of the first evidence that having supportive friendships among adolescents is important for expectant parents.

And after

We continue to follow these participants to understand how their experiences with parents and peers during adolescence might play a role in the development of the next generation. We are also curious to understand what factors might interrupt intergenerational cycles of low empathy, aggression, and harsh parenting. For example, it is possible that having supportive friends compensates for the lack of empathy felt by the family.

While it's true that you can't choose your family, you can choose your friends. Empowering adolescents to choose friendships characterized by mutual understanding and support could have long-term implications for the next generation.

The Research Brief is a brief overview of interesting academic work.

Jessica A. Stern, research scientist, psychology, University of Virginia and Joseph P. Allen, professor of psychology, University of Virginia

This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.